Worth It!

This was written in New Orleans by me at 12:30 am on January 7 of this year. It was the beginning of a great adventure. So here it is:

We're sitting in an ER waiting room. Never have oxymorons been so apparent to me. With a place that is normally dull and depressing, a poor, dying, alcoholic, old, wasted, broken, homeless man by the name of Robert Ray Spring is entertaining and lively, cheering us up, a group of 8 college kids. We're wasting our night sitting with him hoping he gets into detox before it's 3 am. We're all exhausted and sleep deprived but we wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. This is what NOLA's all about. Sitting in horrible conditions all out of pure untainted love for the people here. It doesn’t matter what they've done or where they've been. Its all about where we can help them go. If it’s a better place than they're going to right now, then is SO worth it. As long as the end destination is even a fraction of an inch different from before, its worth it. Worth sacrificing sleep, worth spending countless hours in uncomfortable chairs, sitting on cold cement, getting soaked with rain, smelling awful, being broke from giving too much, getting sick from shaking too many hands, missing meals from spending too much time on the streets. Its all what we live for! Its so worth every missed materialistic moment is worth a second of a changed life. WORTH IT!

Some things to get off my chest...

The Beginning...

was on myspace because i was bored to death.

checked the recent bulletins.

saw a survey-type thing.

found the idea interesting.

replicated it here where it is not as dumb.

The Idea...

write ten things...

about ten people...

that you wish you could tell them...

right now...

The Replication...

1...i love you more than i can describe

and more than you can understand.

that will never change no matter what.

i never go a day without thinking of you

and then saying a little prayer...

just for you!

things will get better... i promise

you have got me to lean on and i will lean on you too

please do not forget the Big Man!

PLEASE!

i think you will find comfort there,

more than you expect

and there will not be shame.

He loves you more than anything.

He will never give up on you,

EVER!

give Him at least a small shot.

you got to give Him some more credit, dear;

He did create the entire universe, remember?

2...i am glad there is closure now.

things were good.

but i wish they were better now.

i miss you.

wish we could talk.

i would like that best friend back.

but it will never happen.

and i am pretty happy about that.

3...you are THE most influential person in my life.

i am glad you did not know me before.

i am glad you have forced change in my life.

sorry i bring you down.

can not wait until we are old together.

you are no good at singing,

but you are better than me.

this summer is going to suck,

but we can not let it change a single thing.

some huge stuff is going on around you,

please do not miss it!

PLEASE!

things will work out.

plus even if they do not,

we are here to catch you when you fall.

4...i wish you knew.

it is causing a rift.

i still will not tell you though.

5...i need to get over it.

it is not worth the effort.

it is too draining to keep up with.

it could have been there but it is not.

it would have been fun.

bye.

6...i do not know why but you have me hooked again.

you are the rock.

what could have been is the hard place.

i am stuck awkwardly in the middle,

wondering what to do next.

maybe in a year or two.

or maybe now.

who knows.

can't wait!

7...you remind me of me back then.

you have great potential.

you are hilarious.

please do not join a gang.

8...i love how it will never work,

but i realized that you are the one who sees me every night;

the amazing one.

too bad baking soda and vinegar is messy.

sometimes it is fun though.

can not wait to see you tonight.

blow me away.

9...do not be bitter.

you are simply unhappy with yourself.

change it!

quit taking it out on other people.

do not waste your life just because you do not know what to do.

sorry, but your dreams are out of reach

you are better somewhere else.

i still believe in you though.

there is potential under that hard shell.

i will not break it though.

not my place.

10... if you want to stop then stop.

it is that simple.

screw everyone else.

no one will hate you for it.

you may even make new friends.

do not do something stupid and dangerous simple because you can.

you have other options.

it is not the only thing that will help.

it makes it worse.

stopping will help.

i will be here to talk.

STOP!

The Conclusion..

all of these would be better said in person.

saying them in person would get me:

fired.

embarrassed.

insulted.

labeled "creeper".

called "heart-breaker"...again.

relief.

results.

but still, i have no backbone.

some things are better kept to myself.

i would sound crazy blurting these out in regular conversation.

i LOVE this format.

i use too many ellipses.